


I'm Yours, Kinda...

by Nina36



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina36/pseuds/Nina36
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> Jensen Ackles knew what happened when the world turned upside down. He felt a twinge of sympathy toward Dean in that moment…because, boy! Did he get what it meant</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Yours, Kinda...

Happy birthday kindaskimpy: love you, dear!!!:)  

 

Jensen Ackles knew what happened when the world turned upside down. He felt a twinge of sympathy toward Dean in that moment…because, boy! Did he get what it meant.  One moment he was shooting his coverage of a scene, the roles in his life clear cut and safe…his mind in Dean’s space, a moment later, cracking a little door open inside himself…and he was looking at himself in the mirror wondering what the hell had just happened.   

 

What. The. Everloving. Fuck?

 

Jared was a friend, a good friend, hotter than fuck, but a friend nevertheless. He did not have romantic or sexual feelings and desires for him. -  _yeah, want to try that again?_  -  a voice in the back of his head suggested. He closed his eyes. It figured that his world would turn on its axis while shooting a scene, on set, in front of everyone. 

Since when he was karma’s bitch anyway? Thinking about Jared in pain, any kind of pain…had messed him up, his eyes had filled with tears - because truth was, he could be an emotional mess sometimes - and the pieces of a puzzle he hadn’t even know it was there in the first place, had clicked together. Just like fucking that. 

One moment Jared was his costar, a close friend, a moment later…he was screwed…and now he absolutely was *not* staring at his costar’s lips. Nope. He wasn’t. Was he? Oh, God, he totally was.   He wasn’t supposed to watch Jared’s lips. Friends did not, under any circumstance - unless they were deaf - watch each other’s lips.

 

It just …   Jared had a very pretty mouth and apparently Jensen, after spending virtually every waking moment with Jared Padalecki for two years, now he couldn’t stop wondering what it’d feel like against his…he couldn’t stop picturing  their lips moving together— and yeah, he totally needed to stop thinking about this. He had to.

It wasn’t something up to debate! He reviewed the facts: they were co-stars, they played brothers on a network tv show - not that it seemed to matter to a faction of their audience -, they were friends…buddies: they drank beer together, they ate steak, they shoot the shit together..what else? Yeah, Jared had a girlfriend. Girl being the key word.

He had to rationalize what happened. He was good at rationalizing, he was a pragmatist!  If, at least, Jared wasn’t always next to him. If he didn’t hug the life out of him, for no other reason that he felt like it, if he hadn’t laid his soul bare to him, within the first month they had known each other.

If….damn it all to hell, if he, at least, wasn’t so freaking, smoking, impossibly hot!   Then maybe Jensen wouldn’t have had this stupid crush on him, he wouldn’t have realized his feelings during a scene — but no, the world hated him and Jared happened to be exactly his type: tall, dimpled guy with floppy adorable hair and all Jensen wanted to do was run his hands through it. But he couldn’t. And yeah, Jared’s lips…where was he, again?  

”Cut!” The director said and Jensen closed his eyes for a moment.

He had to get his feelings - and dick- under control…and he had to find a way to do that very, very  quickly. He had never, ever broken character like this. What was he 14?

“Jen, you okay?” Jared asked with a confused expression on his face.

Jensen nodded. “yeah..” He lied, “I just spaced out a little… I must be more tired than I thought”

Jared tilted his head on a side, and Jensen wanted to sigh: oh, no, God please no…octopus Jared he could take, I’ll-talk-your-ear-off- Jared he could take, he could even take hotter than hell Jared….but concerned, with puppy eyes in full motion, that crease between his eyes he got when he was trying to figure something out…definitely not.

Contrary to popular belief he wasn’t either an eunuch or a saint.  “You sure about that?” Jared asked, the concerned expression not leaving his face.

Jensen nodded once again and forced a little smile. “Yeah, Jare, I’m fine don’t worry.”  He had to get away from there: from the set, from Jared’s gaze - especially that - he needed five minutes.

So he had a crush on his co star, big freaking deal: he was a grown up, he was a professional, he needed to get his emotions (and his dick) in check. Everything would be fine.

Except…that Jared really wouldn’t stop staring at him and he didn’t even hear him when he asked the director to give them both five minutes. Give. Them. Both.   

His life sucked.    

 

“If there’s anything wrong…” Jared put his hand on his shoulder, nodding slighly “you can tell me, I’m here for you, you know that.” Jensen sighed.

 

He needed to get the hell away from the set, right the fuck now.. It was either that or spilling his guts to Jared. He did not want to get a crush on his co-star. He did not want to even become friend with Jared. From the moment he saw him, at their screen test, he had known, felt, it couldn’t end well.   Because it could not end well.

 

And Jensen had stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago. Jensen smiled at Jared, trying to reassure him everything was fine and then…well, run might be a too strong word for the way he walked toward his trailer, but Jensen was above giving a fuck about semantics. He closed the trailer’s door behind his back and  took a look around, noticing how even there, Jared’s presence was everywhere: one of Jared’s beanies was on the couch, a couple of cds on the table, next to a bag of candies.

Their stuff mingled, because personal boundaries had ceased to exist between them somehwere during the second month of filming…so it was normal that Jared’s stuff was in his trailer …or that he kept a spare pair of glasses in Jared’s …or that he could smell Jared on him after a long day of filming.

 _I’m so very, very screwed…he thought._   He needed to do something about that situation, there was no way he could fight his feelings for Jared any longer…  

And of course, fate, karma…whatever force of the universe had decided he was their bitch, chose that exact moment to have Jared knocking on his trailer’s door. For five seconds - and later Jensen  would admit they were the longer of his life -  Jensen seriously contemplated the idea of not answering or tell Jared to leave him alone.  “Jen? Can I come in?” Jared asked and Jensen shook his head opening the door himself.

He took a few steps back, though. Was he being over dramatic? Probably…but he was entitled to it! And even if he wasn’t, he didn’t care…not at the moment, not when Jared was radiating concern and openess and  damn…why was he getting so close? And when had he turned into a school girl who freaked out for a crush?  And why his mind didn’t shut up for a second?

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong? Skipping the bullshit would be nice too…” Jared asked and Jensen had to smile at him. Jared Padalecki: he was like a dog with a bone when he put his mind into it.  Jared took a step toward him and Jensen blinked, there was concern in his eyes, sure, but…unless his inner Jared’s readings were completely shot to hell…there was something else too…something that Jensen wasn’t sure he was getting right. 

 

Jared took another step toward him, without talking and Jensen’s heart was doing a strange dance in his chest, one of anticipation - which was absurd, because there was no way that the silence in the trailer and Jared’s steps meant what his heart and his everything felt it meant.

Except that Jared’s hands were now on his shoulders and Jared was showing once again his total disregard for personal space - not that he was complaining, his mind was stuck in a loop of: Jared, lips, too close hands on shoulders, somebody exorcise the damn schoolgirl out of me and his heart was still making that crazy dance in his chest and Jared’s eyes were boring into his: hazel, deep, soulful and there was something in it…something that didn’t make sense…and was making it everything so vivid and real around him all at the same time. 

A breath, Jared’s fingertips that trailed circles on his shoulders and then Jensen was covering Jared’s lips with his. There wasn’t any hesitation, just his heart gone crazy and Jared’s breath hot against his lips for a moment and then he was kissing him back: soft lips moving against his, the tip of his tongue teasing him, and Jensen smiled against Jared’s lips, as his freak out melted…and the only thing that mattered was how Jared tasted, how close they were, his back against a wall, his hands roaming through Jared’s back, and how many layers of damn clothes were they wearing anyway? His imagination sucked, a part of him thought, as Jared’s lips left his mouth for a second to trail soft, wet kisses on his neck, his jaw; reality was much better.  And his inner school girl in full freak out mode had finally shut up. 

 

He caught Jared’s glance as he tilted his head down, and there was surprise and that something he had been seeing in Jared’s eyes. Something that, he realized suddenly, was damn similar to what he must be seeing in his eyes. “Will have to talk later…” Jensen said, between kisses. 

 

Jared nodded, as his hands roamed on his chest and Jensen was very much aware of how their hips were rocking against each other to seek friction and how good it felt.  And, right on cue, just when things were starting to get really good, they heard the knocking on the door, and a PA warning them that they were needed on set. 

 

Jared chuckled against his jaw and Jensen couldn’t help a little shiver - damn Padalecki and his kisses and his hot breath and how hot it was against his skin….- then Jared took his face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips before saying, “This isn’t over, Jen…” Jensen nodded - while his heart did again that strange dance in his chest - and smiled.  It wasn’t like he didn’t trust his voice…he was still breathless though, and Jared would never let him live it down if he talked in that moment. Jared smiled at him as he left his trailer and Jensen realized that yes, he was very much screwed …and no, he really couldn’t bring himself to care.

It was Jared…and he…they’d figure something out, they always did.


End file.
